✹ SLOP CLUBTHE CLUBHOUSE / PARTY PLATFORM
YOUR NEXT BAD IDEA
✦ 2–12 FRIENDS. ZERO DIGNITY.

BAD IDEAS.
FRONT ROW.

Parkour races. Giant monsters. Deeply unhelpful friends.
Pick a game. Invite your people. Betray them politely.

CLOCK IN, MENACE.3D · ONLINE · FREE
CHOOSE YOUR GOOBER

Run the show here. Join as a player from another browser using the room invite.

Make a room. Drop the link in Discord. Regret everything.

iPad ready. Open in Safari, turn sideways, and bring your worst ideas.

LASER TAG + PARKOUR + KAIJUSFIRST PERSON / HOST CAMNO DOWNLOAD
THE JUNKYARD /OPEN FOR BAD BUSINESS
ASSEMBLING THE NONSENSE…
CLUBHOUSE SPORTS DESK

Slop Radio

Named welcomes, big wins, and occasional questionable analysis. At least 75 seconds between calls.
EMPLOYEE ORIENTATION

Highly unqualified.
Perfectly welcome.

On iPad: drag the left stick to walk. Drag an open part of the arena with your other finger to look around and aim the center crosshair. Use the right-side buttons to jump, dash, shove, grab or throw, and emote. Tap NEXT TRICK to choose a prank, then USE TRICK. Pick up a glowing box and tap USE ITEM. Aim at a nearby rock to plant a duck bomb, then tap BOOM to set it off. Landscape gives you more room. The TOUCH button switches these controls on or off.

Click the arena or CLICK TO LOOK to control the view with your mouse. Press Esc to release the mouse for menus. If mouse capture is unavailable, drag the arena to look. Move relative to your view with WASD / arrow keys. Space jumps, Shift dashes. Click / F shoves. Right-click / V grabs nearby junk or throws what you're holding. In either parkour course, right-click tugs a friend while your left hand keeps moving; V also works.

Press Q to choose a trick, then E to use it: drop a slippery banana, leave a decoy that trips whoever gets close, swap places with a nearby player, or use ROCK DISGUISE to look like a boulder for eight seconds. Stay still to fool your friends; moving, using an action, or getting hit reveals you. R is your official menace emote.

Run over glowing supply boxes to pick up one of six chaos items. Press C to fire. With a duck bomb, aim at a rock within seven steps and press C to attach it. Press X to detonate your planted bombs. Rocks block movement; jumping over low ones and launch pads make good escape routes. Lava, the sweeper, and the crusher are hazardous.

Host camera: open room settings (+) and choose WATCH EVERYONE. Select the whole arena or follow any player in third person. Spectators cannot affect the round; watching or rejoining clears your score. Choose JUMP BACK IN from the lobby to play the next round.

Giant kaijus patrol the yard. Walk too close and they will chase you, then wind up a stomp or swipe. The red circle marks the exact attack area: dash out before impact, or jump high enough to clear it. They pause after attacking. Rock Disguise hides you from their attention, but an attack aimed at someone else can still hit you. Watching hosts are safe.

FRIENDFALL PARKOUR: The host selects it under GAME MODES / HOST and launches a separate floating course. Jump the gaps, dodge rotating sweepers, and touch the three green checkpoints. Falls return you to your last checkpoint. F / click shoves; Right-click / V / TUG FRIEND pulls a nearby player you are facing toward you. Reach the finish first; everyone else gets up to 30 more seconds. The race has a three-minute limit. If nobody finishes, furthest platform reached wins.

AXOLOTL ASCENT / HARD: Choose mode 06 for a taller, harder course. Push forward into a yellow ladder to climb; jump to let go. Bouncing axolotls and flying junk can knock you off: watch their warning rings and lanes, and move after they pass. Four checkpoints save your climb. Races last up to four minutes. After either parkour race, everyone returns to the Clubhouse. The host can choose Keep course open for practice during results to keep moving without changing saved scores.

PIXEL SPLASH / INSTAGIB: Choose mode 07 for a separate blocky deathmatch arena. Everyone gets a laser water gun: left-click / F fires, right-click / Shift dashes, and Space jumps. On iPad, drag to aim and tap FIRE. Aim up and down to hit players on raised paths. One hit zaps an unshielded player into pixels. Cover blocks shots. First to 20 zaps wins, or most zaps after three minutes. Random respawns give a short shield; firing ends it. Collect SUGAR RUSH, MOON BOOTS, or PIXEL POP for temporary powers. After the match, everyone returns to the Clubhouse; the host can explicitly keep practice open.

FALLING PAGES: Stand inside the glowing holes before enormous library pages land. The fixed overhead camera needs no aiming. WASD / arrows or the touch stick move your character. One harmless practice page, then five short heats. Survive a page for one point; the last survivor gets two extra points. Flattened players return next heat. Equal point totals share the win. Your foot ring takes up real space. Walk into someone to bump them, or shove to clear a spot. Blasted readers no longer block the living. The orange corners mark the final opening: it shrinks, and some pages slide into place. The desk fan shows its direction before it blows. Left-click / F or tap SHOVE to push everyone close to you. The shove recharges in 2¼ seconds.

TEAM DUNGEON ESCAPE: Race in pairs through the Twin Locks, Ferryman’s Well, Whistling Pipes and Balloon Belfry. Move with WASD, arrows or the touch stick. Follow your gold floor ring and press F / click / USE near a mechanism. Take turns at your own bellows on the gold beat. First balloon out wins. One pair can race the clock. An odd reader gets Clockwork Pip.

Dedicated hosting: Choose HOST / CONTROL ROOM on the home screen to run the match here, then copy the room invite into your regular browser to join as a separate player. The control room does not take one of the twelve player slots. The PC server still needs to keep running.

TOTAL MAYHEM
Every knockout scores. Grab items and set ridiculous ambushes.

01 / JUNK RUN
Carry junk into the glowing center to score. Ring-outs count too.

02 / CROWN CHAOS
Hold the crown to score. Shove the holder to steal it.

03 / HOT POTATO
Shove someone to pass the bomb. Get rid of it before it blows.

Use Discord for voice. Names are nicknames, not connected Discord accounts. Touch controls and desktop keyboard/mouse players share the same rooms.
PROCUREMENT HAS LOST ITS MIND

Six ways to be
an awful friend.

Run over glowing boxes to collect an item. Tap USE ITEM on a touchscreen, or press C. Tap BOOM to detonate planted duck bombs. Boxes refill after 12 seconds with a new surprise.
INCIDENT REPORT

What a mess.
WE LOST THE JUNKYARD

Connection interrupted.

The host's PC and server must stay running. Try joining the room again.